Really in the end its all how you make it.

Really, what does it mean to have a bad day? Does it mean that everything that you have planed for that day went all wrong?


               For the better part of my life this is the way that I thought about things. My day would be all wrong because one thing didn't go right. For example, today I was walking around my house says how horrible my life was, and that no matter what I did nothing goes right. That when ever I get my hopes up something comes along and destroys them all, knocks them down and washes them away with the on coming tied. This has always been my out look on life. If you would to ask anyone I am a Debbie downer. I never see the classes as half full and I am always waiting and watching for the next thing to come up and try to break me down.

         Today my mother told me a story about two men sitting on a bench and the one man is telling the other about how bad his life is and how when ever he tried to take one step forward he gets pushed three back. The second man starts to well up with tears and the first man asks, Are you crying? The second man says, Yes. The first replies with, are you crying over my problems? The second man turns to him and says: No, my wife just died.


       I guess the meaning to this story is no matter how bad you may have it, someone else most likely has it way worst. I guess my new goal is to try to look forward and keep my head and my spirit held high, because not matter how bad my day is, someone else's is a lot worst. I am not perfect but I can atleats try, right?

True me

I am the type of person that keeps my emotions locked away until I blow up. This may not be a healthy way of dealing with my stress, but like I said this is the type of person that I am. Until now...

I do not like blowing up on people who have done nothing wrong to me. I hate the feeling that I get when I scream at a person for no reason other then they asked me a question. Its not right and I should put a stop to this, if only it was so easy. Which as you most likely was able to tell its not. I am a moody teenager who doesn't know just what or who I should be. I am the type of person that wears my heart on my sleeves. I have been told that I am too sensitive and I should have thicker skin. This would be all good and well, if I could find that tough thick skinned girl within myself, which I can't always do. Then I am told to fake it till I make it. Not as easy as this all sounds. I don't want to fake it till I make and, because I am scared that I will fake it so much that I loose the inner me. The sensitive girl that I am. So...

I have been reading this book that I have had for a while, but never got around to reading it. Well it goes on to talk about inner blocks that may cause me to become a walking time bomb. (And no it is not a self help book. Its more like a spiritual guide book.) It goes on to explain how I should address these problems within myself and move forward with my life. Well nonetheless, this is working for me. I at times have a slight case of depression and anger issues. Anyway's, this book has given me the tools to look within myself and come face to face with my demons, and as scary as it may be. Its helped me, Its letting me see the world in a new light and its helping me get over the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeves, but I can be the person that I was meant to be without loosing the true me.