?

     I feel lost, like I don't know who I am any more. Like I have become a shadow of a person that I use to be. I have come so far when the odds were pined agents me. From childhood almost every teacher I had said that I wouldn't become anything because I had a learning disability. That I would end up dropping out and being pegnant by the age of 16. That I wouldn't be somebody.

    I am very proud to say that I have fought and won. I had to fight my whole life for everything that I have ever wanted. I have dealt with being picked on and tortured for most of my childhood, and because of that I am the person I am today. I am strong and hard headed, and I stand up for what I believe in. But when I look in the mirror, I don't see that girl. I see a girl who is so sad that its in her walk. That no matter how much make-up she puts on, she can't hide the sadness in her brown eyes.

      I made the honor roll for most of my life, I graduated not only high school, but beauty school too. I have become somebody, I am somebody  but why can't I see that in the mirror? I spent most of my life with the attitude that if I don't like the way I look, I can just change it. But have I changed it so much that I can't find the real me?

       As I sit here and wounder just what it all means to be the real me, I can't help but go back to what made me. I feel that I have lost all that made me me, that I am just a shell. I don't want to be that person that looks back on there life and wounder what the hell was I thinking? I was to look back and be like ' Yeah I ended up and jail, but I sure had fun doing it'! I don't know who I am, I want to find that out but it will take more that just a day or two to find this strong willed person that I use to be. But do I have what it takes to face my inner demons and look deep enough to find her, and in the end will I even like her?

Cowers die many times before there death, but the valiant only taste death but once