I can have the happiest day know to man, but when it comes to and end so does the happiness. I spend every night wishing that when I went to sleep, I didn't feel so lonely. Like there is something missing in my life. I have tried many things to fill up the never ending whole, but everything that I try doesn't work.
Not books. Not shoes. Not shopping or even money. Nothing seems to be able to keep this feeling away. I have found some "quick fixes" but they never last long. Its like there is something missing out of my life that I can't find or have no where to look for it. "IT" being whatever the hell keeps me up at night. I always get a feeling like something should be different or that something is going to happen. I get this feeling within my gut that wont leave me the hell alone. So to keep this feeling as far away as possible I keep myself busy.
I focus on school and working and making myself become something better then I know. I work on hiding what I feel and i work on being stronger and harder. Its not like I have people I can turn to, its not like I have friends to talk to because most of them wouldn't understand the stress and shit that I go through every day. I am the oldest I have to take care of the others. I have to be the stronger one...
I must say that I have found one thing that helps to keep me from thing of my lonely, stressful life. I only listen to this band when I feel like my life is slipping away from me and I have noway of getting it back.
H.I.M
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